Introduced from beyond the grave by Professor Brian O'Blivian, with a talk on Life in The Television Age.
A black hole. A Black on Black Canvas. A Book With No Beginning No Middle & No End. A Metanarrative of Nothingness.
My Life As a Drunk.
All The Parties I've Ever Been To And Forgotten.
The Pain of The Head in The Morning, the Vomit on The Stairs, The Fart in Bed That's Too Physical & Staining. Falling Down. The Half Empty Beer Can by The Bed, Drained in One Gulp in The Morning. The Fried Bread, Beans, Eggs, Tomatoes, Mushrooms, Fresh Orange Juice, Tea, Tapwater, Coke, The Memories Flooding Through, The Girl in My Bed With No Name. Sneaking out of a House in The Suburbs, The Distaste at the Sight of Hello, Ok and Hola in the Bathroom. No Books. The Girl Without a Name. The Boy With Vomit on His clothes. The Dirt in The Hair. The Bleeding Face. The Split Eyebrows. The Unwritten Books, Blank Canvases.
And a Hole In My head Where The Memories Ought To Be.
In The car Driving To the Party. Every Minute of The Drive I'm Saying Aloud "I WILL NOT DRINK VODKA TONIGHT." There's half a case of Champagne in the Car. But There's a Bottle of Vodka in My Friends Freezer, Another Bottler of Vodka. Suddenly it's Morning. On My Back on The Sofa, A Wet Towel on Top of Me, I Try To Stand. I Can't, I'm Still Drunk. The First Beer Can is Empty, The Second is 1/3rd Full, Luke Warm, a Cigarette But. But It's Beer & It's What I Need.
The Phone Calls & The Failed Romances. The Trophies & The Ones That Should Have Been Left Alone, The 700 Phone Numbers in My Phone, The 2,500 Friends on Facebook I Don't Know. The Life I could've Had
The Nights I Don't Remember, London, Paris, New York, Miami, Mexico City, Rio, Bangkok, K.L., Athens, Barcelona, Vienna, Berlin, Hamburg, Stockholm. I Don't Drink To Forget. I Drink Because I Like It & Because I Don't Like You When I'm Sober. You're Prettier When I'm Drunk. I'm Richer When I'm Drunk And If You don't Like Me You Can Fuck Off & I'll Bother Someone Else.
The Migraines I've Had, The Sight I Haven't Seen. The Weight of My Head In The Morning. The Times I've Said I Won't Get Drunk & Have.
It Doesn't Matter Where I am or What I'm Doing,, What I'm Wearing or Where Tomorrow Is. It's a Party and There's Drink and There's Boys & There's Girls And Some of Us Know Each Other And Some of Us Don't. We May Be Friends, For The Night or For Life, We May Mate, In The Toilets, On The Stairs in The Bushes, On The Beach in The House, In the Car, It May be Just Once, It May Not Be Fun. But One Day It'll Be Beautiful & I'll Look Into Your Eyes And Know I've Mated For Life. If You, Any of You, There's So Many of You Now, Had Known That Too I Wouldn't Be here And I Wouldn't Be Asking You To Join Me. I'd Be At Home in Bed in Our House in The Country, By the Sea, With Our Children, Dog, Cat, Pony, Chickens, maybe a couple of Horses, Allotment & Orchid House, Volvo on The Drive And Worries About Next Terms School Fees, And Wondering When I'll Next Have A Minute To Myself For a Wank.
A Night You Won't Remember.
The Tickets Are £200, It's All Inclusive From The Coach and The Ferry To the Party in The Castle, The Food And the Wine, And The Vodka, It's Always Vodka. But You Must Be Pretty. I Have My Standards. The Tickets Are Limited, So Please email a Photo of Yourself And Your Friends to email@example.com And We'll Say Yes or No.
Oh One Last Thing, You Won't Remember This. And Just To Be Sure You'll Be given a dose of Rohipnol at The Door. But I'll Remember This, There'll Be Camera's Taking Photos Every Minute, And There'll Be An Exhibition And A Book. And For Once in My Life I'll Be The One That Remembers The Party And You'll Be The One Who Forgets. And maybe We'll Still Be Friends. If Any of it Matters, If anything Matters. If You Matter.
Live Performances From Bands Including:
The Empty Quartet
DJ's - Carnal Fire